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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749699">Caverns and Cryptids</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glide_Glaze/pseuds/Glide_Glaze'>Glide_Glaze</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Caverns and Cryptids [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom, Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Caves, Character Introductions, Comedy, Fantasy, Fiction, Goblins, Monsters, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Original Universe, Other, Pictures, Sphinxes, Troll - Freeform, Worldbuilding, dragon - Freeform, imp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:06:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glide_Glaze/pseuds/Glide_Glaze</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Within the Grieving Grove lies the dreaded Bonemeal Caverns. Legend tells of riches and treasures within, guarded by fierce monsters should you try to swipe them. Many adventurers have lost their gold and lives attempting to plunder the large caverns, which is exactly what keeps its economy running. Run by a tired and absolutely in no way slightly overweight dragoness, the various monster denizens of the caverns attract various types of adventurers in to rob THEM instead for their treasure horde and for paychecks. They toe the line between attracting wealthy victims in while keeping low-threat enough to not get purged by a raid from the local kingdom. This introductory story lays the main plot down and introduces a few characters.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Caverns and Cryptids [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Caverns and Cryptids</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My passion project since 2017. I always did fine emulating other characters from different franchises, but I wanted to make some original content of my own, leading to Caverns and Cryptids. I poured my heart into this and personally consider it one of my favorite written creations. I hope you enjoy it and I hope I can eventually make some more content for something I hold very dear.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Deep within the Grieving Grove lies the Bonemeal Caverns. It was given that name after many claimed that bonemeal was all that would be left of anyone that dared to enter these forsaken caves. Anyone foolish enough to venture inside would be met with numerous perils and monsters, all hell-bent on ensuring a gruesome and painful end.<br/>You might be asking yourself why anyone would willingly enter such a dangerous place at all. Why not simply leave the cave be? Stay away? The answer lies past the traps and terrors. It is rumored that if you can get past all the trials of this cave, treasure beyond measure awaits. Piles and piles of gold, gems, artifacts and other wonders await those that can reach it; enough to guarantee a wealthy living for fifty lifetimes. Few can resist such a temptation, just like the two adventurers wandering deep into the caverns even now...</p>
<p>"Keep that torch up, Gavin. I don't want another ambush."</p>
<p>'I'm not an idiot, Barlow. I'm still aching from that troll's weight.'</p>
<p>The plate armor clanks and clinks as the two head deeper still. The two seem confident enough in their attempt with packs full of potions, antidotes, and other useful supplies. There's been a few bumps along the journey, such as corrosive slimes and poisonous darts, but a strong sword arm and quick wits have led them true past monster and trap. Judging by the soft gleam of light up ahead, perhaps their journey is just about over. Coming up to a pit of spikes, the two adventurers lower themselves down and start to shimmy across, keeping their grips tight.</p>
<p>"What'll you do with your share of the haul?"</p>
<p>'IF there's actually treasure waiting for us, I'll probably move far, far away from this land. Bring my family along. I've had enough of that murky village to last a lifetime. You?'</p>
<p>"Ale."</p>
<p>Climbing up and over, this next peril was conquered just like the rest. All that was left was the large room before them. Stowing their swords away, they clamber up and gasp at the sight before them. It was just as the rumors said! Gold! Mountains of treasure! The two only exchange a single look of incredulousness before dashing forward, turning their heads every which way, trying to count it all!</p>
<p>"How did it all get here?"</p>
<p>'How much do you think this is all worth?'</p>
<p>"How are we going to get it out of here?"</p>
<p>They could worry about those details later. For now, they just celebrated their payoff. They laughed and cheered and looked over the gold, much too transfixed by the glimmers to notice a slow shifting behind them. It's not just gold that fills this sizable chamber. A loud, deep growl causes them to freeze up and exchange glances. THUMP. THUMP. Two thunderous booms convince them to turn around, and the sight before them raises their eyes and drops their jaws.</p>
<p>"Oh..."</p>
<p>'...sard.'</p>
<p>The last thing they probably hoped to see today was a big, copper dragon. They can only gape as it raises itself up and stares down at them with two bright, orange eyes. And they didn't look happy at all. Was it twenty feet tall? Twenty-five? Rather than take the time to get a measuring stick, the two draw their swords, preparing to hold their ground.</p>
<p>"Let's see if all that training paid off, Gavin!"</p>
<p>However, fights against dragons aren't as fair as stories might make them seem. Before the two can take even a step forward, the beast lets out a mighty roar, flooding the chamber with a thick cloud. Fire is definitely painful, but getting constantly bombarded with an unending barrage of acid breath is not a fun experience either. This goes on for a good half-moment before it finally lets up. Once the smoke clears away, all that's left are two much short smaller figures slumped against the floor, worse than dead in their armor. A few seconds pass where the dragon simply stares at the two lumps before it suddenly shakes its head.</p>
<p>"ANOTHER breach into the treasure chamber. That's the fourth time this month. I told them to keep their guard up. I did. But nooo."</p>
<p>Reaching over, she scoops the two new victims up and onto her back, grumbling to herself. The slimes can deal with these bodies.</p>
<p>"Yes, the loot is good, but the point of a death gauntlet is for them to die in it. Mm. I shouldn't be so upset at them. I'm sure they tried their best....right?"</p>
<p>She turns her head towards the long tunnel leading outside. She might as well inspect the damage and do some interrogations. Clearly today's rotation of defenders simply aren't up to snuff. Dusting her smooth scales off, she heads off down the tunnel.</p>
<p>"(Alright...the spike pit is still here. The points are all still nice and sharp, and I'd look silly lecturing a hole in the ground. Moving on.)"</p>
<p>Stepping through the torch-lit tunnel, her expression shows some worry as she spots a large mound ahead of her. Where a large figure is currently sitting, slumped against the wall and grumbling.</p>
<p>"Oh dear. Reynold, don't tell me you let two HUMANS best you! They're half your size!"</p>
<p>The troll named Reynold doesn't appear to be very happy with the input. He seems to be busy with his legs. Upon closer inspection, she sees that they've been tied together with what looks like chains.</p>
<p>'I don't think I'll ever have a fair fight, Clarimond. Every lilylivered mongrel that reaches me either runs away or tries to get around me. What I wouldn't give to get in one hell of a good scrap. I wouldn't even mind dying if it came to that.'</p>
<p>As he struggles with the thick metal, Clarimond helpfully reaches out, using her claw to cut through that chain like tissue paper. With a grunt of thanks, he tosses the coils to the side, using his nearby club to pull himself back up to his feet.<br/>One day, there was no Reynold. The other day, he was here. Dressed in rugged leather fatigues, he doesn't ask for much in life. He can be happy with food and a home, but what he craves is battle. Why the yearning for violence? Nobody is quite sure. Was he perhaps banished from somewhere, and seeks to regain some lost respect? Is it just in a troll's nature to want to kill? Is he going through a midlife crisis and thirsts to show off his youthful energy? The answer is still hidden to this day.</p>
<p>"You shouldn't say that, Rey. There aren't many that can replace you. Besides, if you bit the dust, we both know just what would happen with your share of the treasure..."</p>
<p>'I don't plan on kicking it just yet. There aren't enough humans in the world to bring me down anyways. At least the minotaurs can put up a fight...'</p>
<p>Taking a few sniffs, his nose wrinkles as he looks up at her, eyes scanning across her body.</p>
<p>'Eugh. Can I assume they didn't manage to steal a coin?'</p>
<p>"Mm. They didn't, but I would really like it better if they never managed to reach any at all..."</p>
<p>At this, he looks down at the floor, scratching at the back of his neck ashamedly with his enormous hand.</p>
<p>'Right, sorry about that. They won't be so lucky next time. I swear my club on it.'</p>
<p>She can't really blame him for trying his best, so she just holds in her sigh, and nods once, resuming her walk.</p>
<p>"Hopefully, Pest tried his hardest too."</p>
<p>'Pffft! Good one, ma'am.'</p>
<p>And on she went. Reaching the dart-trap pressure-plate peril, she gasps at what she sees. There's a rope dangling on the ceiling!</p>
<p>"Those JERKS! What's the point of an elaborate pressure plate memory test if they're just going to swing right over it?! The nerve of some humans..."</p>
<p>She pulls it down and promptly dices it up, growling to herself. Honestly, humans can be so lazy. At least her fellow monsters were more attentive. Right?</p>
<p>"Next is the.....uh....wait a moment..."</p>
<p>The section ahead looks spotless. Just a clear dirt path. That's not right at all. There should be boulders all over the floor! And blood! Looking up, she sees the very same boulders still wrapped up in a net, just waiting to fall and crush any unsuspecting adventurers.</p>
<p>"Wha....why wasn't the rope cut? He was supposed to......."</p>
<p>Following the rope along the shadows, her eyes fall upon a hole in the wall, where a small creature sits in wait, ready to bring down a few tons of stone. Or at least, that's what he SHOULD HAVE been doing. Instead, light snores catch her attention. Peering inside the hole, she spots the bugger catching a few z's instead, knife dangling loosely in his grip.</p>
<p>"Pssst......Hey......Pest. Peeeest.....Peeeeeeeeest......."</p>
<p>'ZzZzz......'</p>
<p>"PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!!"</p>
<p>Dragons are not quiet, and her shout is enough to shake the very foundations of the caverns. Unsurprisingly, Pest flies upward, smacking into the ceiling with a crunch.</p>
<p>'Ow! Owwww! Who the hell....what was that for, huh? I didn't do anything!'</p>
<p>Pest was an imp. Small, mischievous, unreliable. His name isn't actually Pest, but after hearing it for so long, he started taking it as a loving nickname. He figures it makes him seem tougher. Rubbing his little claws on the top of his head, he looks up at his waker, who glares back at him.</p>
<p>"That's right! You didn't do anything! While you were snoozing away, you let two humans pass you by! They got to the treasure!"</p>
<p>'I did? Holy hell, that's bad, isn't it? Whoops. You didn't let them take any of mine, did you? Uh, I mean-'</p>
<p>The sound of her sizzling acidic huffing is enough to make him fold his ears, and he quickly moves on.</p>
<p>'See, here's the thing, Claire. I'm going to level with you. It's BORING to sit in this hole. I mean, sure it's only two days a week, but come on! There's no books, there's no entertainment! There's hardly any light! You can't expect anyone to stay awake in these conditions, can you? This is a VERY comfy hole, after all.'</p>
<p>Claire opens her maw to speak again, but Pest rushes on, shrugging.</p>
<p>'Besides, you got them in the end, didn't you? One way or another, they won't be bothering us anymore and we got a nice bit of loot out of them. If anything, you should be mad at the others up ahead! Their job is to make the humans turn and leave while we're left to kill! Why not figure out why they screwed up, hmm?'</p>
<p>There's just no getting through to Pest. Ignoring the way he's selling out the others, she has to admit he has a point. The outside defenses and first few perils are meant to send the adventurers turning around and leaving after an embarrassing defeat. If they just killed humans willy-nilly, the ruler of the lands may decide Bonemeal Caverns should be cleaned out. They can handle a few adventurers, but not an army. This place is best kept to be known as a spooky cave of monsters, not a threat that needs to be stomped out. An optional side-quest.</p>
<p>"....I guess the others should have turned them away. But don't think that this excuses you at all, Pest!"</p>
<p>'Yeah yeah yeah. I'll be careful next time, or whatever you want to hear, Claire.'</p>
<p>The imp retreats back into his hiding spot, leaving her to growl and move on. While she would love to send him packing, Pest has his perks too. He's unusually good at spying on the humans. He often returns to the caverns to warn of scouting parties or opportunities to roam for extra food and supplies, not to mention keeping an ear out for any other news worth hearing. A headache, but a useful one.</p>
<p>"(Alright, who was assigned to defense duty here today....? It was....the mimic, right? No, that's not it...)"</p>
<p>Up ahead, she catches what sounds like a bit of bickering between two females. It all comes back to her as she takes a listen.</p>
<p>"(Ah, yes....Mina and Nima.)"</p>
<p>'...and I bet she ATE Pest.'</p>
<p>'That's good. He was never kind.'</p>
<p>'It's not good! What if she eats US next?'</p>
<p>'I don't think we taste very good.'</p>
<p>'She snacks on gems every day. I don't think she cares about taste.'</p>
<p>'She DOES eat a lot of gems...'</p>
<p>Ouch. So Clarimond likes to bite on some beryl or chomp some citrine. Who doesn't? It's a very tough role she has making sure everything runs smoothly. She deserves to indulge every now and again. Although, she has her worries that those gemstones may be going to her thighs...</p>
<p>"Am I interrupting anything...?"</p>
<p>At the sound of her voice behind them, the two figures jump up with a combined gasp, landing with loud thumps onto their pedestals. Tucking their wings in and digging their claws into the stone below, they don't exactly look innocent.</p>
<p>'Oh! Claire! Hi!'</p>
<p>'How are you? What's going on?'</p>
<p>'Your scales look extra smooth today.'</p>
<p>'They do, don't they?'</p>
<p>They both grin wide at her while only getting a slow blink in response. For ancient sphinxes, Mina and Nima don't appear to match that age. At least, not in spirit. They firmly believe that you're only as old as you act. Perhaps they just need a few hundred more years to mature. Cut from the same cloth, these two never leave each other's side. They guard together, they talk together, and they argue together. They may be from a time long ago, but they still have some growing to do even now.</p>
<p>"I've had to explain the situation a few times already, and I'm sure you two know exactly what happened. Care to explain yourselves?"</p>
<p>They exchange a look with each other, resuming their worried expressions. Mina speaks up first.</p>
<p>'The humans answered our riddle correctly. We allowed them to pass.'</p>
<p>"But-Wh-Th-The point is that you DON'T let them pass! Can't you just....maul them once they step past you or something?"</p>
<p>'That would be dishonorable.'</p>
<p>'I told you your riddle was too easy, Mina. They guessed it in less than a moment.'</p>
<p>"What was the riddle?"</p>
<p>'What has four legs but cannot walk?'</p>
<p>"Jesus Christ..."</p>
<p>Taking a minute to soak this in, Claire presses her head against the stone wall, closing her eyes. They are not nearly as wise as other sphinxes, nor are they very good at coming up with mind-straining riddles. Maybe one day they'll improve. But come on. THAT'S the best they've got?</p>
<p>".........look, girls. This job isn't to be taken lightly. We've got a lot of souls that live here. It's not only treasure that's at risk. Imagine if they went even further than the gold. They'd stumble upon a LOT of things humans aren't supposed to know about. And you know humans. Trespassing into dungeons, killing innocent monster families, and grabbing everything that's not nailed down. It's not just treasure we want safe. It's our way of life, and I hope you two are taking that to heart."</p>
<p>Now it's their turn to feel upset over their loss. The dragoness does her best not to look their way. She can just imagine the looks on their faces, and she doesn't want to melt away from a two pairs of sad eyes. A few seconds pass before Nima speaks up.</p>
<p>'...we'll do better, Miss. We promise.'</p>
<p>'That's right. We'll come up with a riddle so hard, nobody will be able to get in OR out!'</p>
<p>"Let's not get carried away, but I like the enthusiasm. And between you and me, I would look the other way if you two scrounged up a riddle book."</p>
<p>'We don't need a riddle book! Any true sphinx would write their own. You'll see improvement.'</p>
<p>'I think I've got one already! How's this: What gets bigger the more you take from it?'</p>
<p>"That would be a hole or my heart. But I like your enthusiasm. Keep it up, girls."</p>
<p>Clarimond round the corner before sticking her head back, clearing her throat.</p>
<p>"And by the way, gemstones are COMPLETELY nutritious and ABSOLUTELY fat-free. Got it?"</p>
<p>Not waiting for an answer, she moves on. She has to blink a few times as she finally meets the sun rather than more torchlight. She's on the home stretch now. The entrance is right before her, as well as the first obstacle humans face.</p>
<p>"Hello hello. Are you all okay?"</p>
<p>Scattered before her is quite the array of colors. It's like a paint canvas threw up. Sliding around here and there are slimes. Lots and lots of slimes. Slimes are very simple creatures. Most here are rather small and weak, but are more than a threat in large numbers. Orange, green, yellow and red blobs of gelatinous goo all look up at Claire with very simple faces, all looking very happy to see her.</p>
<p>'Waaagh! 'Bwaaan!'<br/>'Floough!' 'Drooh!'</p>
<p>Why are simple slimes the first defense? Well, they're not so easily killed. Defeated, sure. But usually all they face are a few sword swipes or zaps. Within a few minutes, they've molded themselves back together as if nothing happened. Judging by the looks of things, there are no casualties.</p>
<p>"Yes, it's good to see you too. I brought you some snacks."</p>
<p>Dropping the still very dead remains of the two adventurers down onto the floor, she watches with mild disgust and interest as the slimes converge on it, jumping all over to begin cleanup. They make disposal an easy chore when they can just dissolve it away better than she can. And unlike the others, these creatures are very simple-minded. If you want them to sit around for hours, they'll do it. If you need something brought to you from the other side of the forest, they'll do it. If you need someone to talk to, they'll do it. They may not be able to talk back or might forget what they're doing, but you can't help but admire their attitude and determination. While the others eat, one other slime watches them from afar. <br/>This particular slime is different from the others. For starters, he's the only blue slime. He's also a little bit bigger, and adorned with a cute oversized cavalier's cap. It's a souvenir from another failed expedition, and he's taken a liking to it. This simple hat has given him quite the status boost amongst his kind, and the others generally look up to him for instruction.</p>
<p>"They got in, huh?"</p>
<p>Muru nods with a big dopey smile.</p>
<p>"You all tried your best, right?"</p>
<p>Muru nods with a big dopey smile.</p>
<p>".......you all hate me, right?"</p>
<p>Muru shakes his head with a big dopey smile. It seems they're not quite as mindless as one might think.*</p>
<p>'Fuhh Tuhh.'</p>
<p>A clang off to the side catches her attention. The bodies have been picked clean, and all that's left is a pair of swords and their armor and gear. They could fetch a nice price as a set. Reaching over to pick the supplies up, she grimaces a little at all the slime dripping off of it.</p>
<p>"Oh, uh.....thanks. I'll just....take them out to dry."</p>
<p>The slimes resume their practice of aimlessly shuffling about while Muru gives a little salute with a stub of an "arm". At last, inspection is over. Even with that short walk, she feels quite exhausted. Perhaps some fresh air will alleviate this. With her heavy footsteps, she exits the cave, out to the clearing ahead. Thankfully, all the trees of the forest hide her not-unhealthy frame from sight. Clarimond takes a seat and also takes a breath.</p>
<p>"(Maybe I should make it a competition. Like....if you stop the humans, you get a prize. Would that work...?)"</p>
<p>Claire gets a vision in her mind's eye. A bard steps into the cave for shelter from the rain. The next thing he knows, he's mauled by a few golems and minotaurs, all desperate for a prize.</p>
<p>"(....yeah, that's not going to work.)"</p>
<p>With a wistful sigh, she wonders just what could be the problem. Are the traps not deadly enough? Are the cave warnings too scary for regular adventurers, enticing the hard-to-kill ones?</p>
<p>".........."</p>
<p>There are no less than five signs around the area. "Beware!", "Turn Back!", "Monsters!", a sign with a skull painted on it, and finally a sign reading "Bonemeal Caverns". As for the cave itself, she had carved a few holes and indents into the stone, allowing the breeze to give the cave a rather eerily soft howl whenever it got too windy. The atmosphere was perfect, it had to be! Just scary enough to inspire hapless adventurers to bring along plenty of expensive gear for a try, but not enough to make the seasoned warriors consider it worth a visit. And yet they’re making it through without a problem! </p>
<p>“What is it that I’m missing here? What’s the missing piece?!”</p>
<p>'It sounds like someone requires a little more pest control...'</p>
<p>Claire recognizes that voice. Slightly smug. Opportunistic. It sounds like somebody.......wants to sell her something! She lowers her gaze, looking at her claws instead of the approaching figures.</p>
<p>"Not now. I want to sit here and be upset."</p>
<p>'Even better. Depression could help make impulsive purchases.'</p>
<p>They won't leave until they're pleased, so she might as well get things over with. Gazing up at the two goblins ahead, she gives a soft sigh.</p>
<p>"Well, I don't suppose I have a choice here, do I Bilk?"</p>
<p>'Come on, C. All of our products and services are of the highest quality.'</p>
<p>'They are?'</p>
<p>'Shut up, Swindle.'</p>
<p>Dressed up rather well for a pair of goblins, Bilk and Swindle run a business together. B/S Products. Very catchy name. What do they sell? Anything that can give them money, of course. Maybe you need some scale polish. Perhaps you could use a bodyguard for a trip through the forest. Usually a visit to these two will end up with your fortune a little smaller, and your home filled with things you apparently didn't know you needed. Bilk has a knack for persuasion. Swindle handles the deliveries. While not as smart as Bilk, Swindle at least offers Claire a discount or two when left by himself to negotiate. She can't help but suspect he has more interest in Clarimond than just her gold. She kindly waves a claw at him, who waves in return behind Bilk's back.</p>
<p>"Well, unless you can pull out something to make all the humans dump sacks of coin here without asking questions, I don’t think we’ll be doing business."</p>
<p>'Never say never, C. While we're fresh out of temptation tonic, we DO have other measures to help keep your little system here running smooth and efficient.'</p>
<p>He runs back a few paces, over to the cart they came here on. They're never quite open with how they obtained it. Digging around the piles of stuff, he soon tosses something out onto the floor. It looks like a few wooden spheres attached to a rope.</p>
<p>'Here we have a very quite the clever trap. Lay this down on the floor, cover it with some leaves and sticks and you're ready to go. Should an unfortunate soul step on one of these bulbs and crack one open, a very potent cloud of toxic gas will be released, ensuring swift loss of vision, movement, flesh and life! A must-have!'</p>
<p>'Clean-up feature not included.'</p>
<p>"That sounds a little dangerous. What if we accidentally set it off?"</p>
<p>'Well-valued customer, I regret to tell you that this toxic cloud does not discriminate. It'll definitely kill anything it touches, C. Just imagine the adventuring parties it could wipe!'</p>
<p>"I don't think I can handle that kind of risk with the others. What else do you have?"</p>
<p>Swindle is next to shuffle through the pile, soon lifting his arm up. Holding a bag of...something.</p>
<p>'Miss Clarimond, we also offer more than the means to subdue humans, I hope you remember. We have here some QUALITY spawn-inoculated compost. Now you too can grow your very own large, bioluminescent mushrooms to amaze and bedazzle.’</p>
<p>'Sheesh Swindle. You're really trying to sell this stuff, aren't you?'</p>
<p>'Actually, I'm just....reading what it says on the bag here...'</p>
<p>Rehearsed or not, it still catches Claire's attention. She may be deadly, but that doesn't mean she isn't female. She just loves prettying the place up.</p>
<p>"Ooh....I like the sound of that. Do you know how expensive it is to have and light so many torches in an expansive cave? It's not like they burn forever, after all. I think we can make some deals here today, boys."</p>
<p>‘Not to mention, C, the mystic-like glow may help to reel in some of those alchemist types, eh? They’re always carrying an assortment of rare things and none too combat ready. Better buy in bulk to really reel them in...’ </p>
<p>Bilk pats his brother's back and straightens his collar with a grin. The next half-hour slinks by. At the end of it, Claire is left with several bags of compost, a few whetstones, some tools for the miners in her life, and a promise that the next time they came back, they'd have a few exotic pets to offer. When it came time to pay, Claire offered them the armors and weapons they had "found". Judging by the way they quickly snapped up the trade, they may have gotten a better deal than she did. Oh well.</p>
<p>'Until next time, C! It has been an HONOR to be of service. No refunds, by the way. We look forward to our next transaction....~'</p>
<p>'Bye, Miss Clarimond! Until next time...'</p>
<p>Parting ways, she heads back into the cave just in time to accompany the others. At sunset, the shifts change, and Reynold, Muru and all the others head deeper inside for a rest while other monsters take their places. Hopefully, they'll give better results. Coming back to the treasure room, she eases her new purchases down on the floor and climbs back onto her bed of gold, letting out a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>"Well, that could have gone worse, I guess. Everyone's safe, and we've still got our loot. Although, I think I'll hold a meeting tomorrow. Maybe they just need a morale boost."</p>
<p>'Who the hell are you talking to, Claire?"</p>
<p>She glances to the left, where Pest is busy hugging at a pile of gold, watching her.</p>
<p>"Shouldn't you be going to your....wherever you go, Pest?"</p>
<p>'I had to make sure everything was still here. I can't really trust you to keep us safe. Least of all, my money. What have you ever done for us, hm?'</p>
<p>"Get the hell out of here, Pest."</p>
<p>And so Pest rolls his eyes and scurries off, leaving her alone to bury her face in a pile of gold and scream for a few seconds. It may not have accomplished much, but she certainly feels a little better. Maybe a little nap is all she needs. Rolling onto her back, she wiggles about, nestling comfortably into the treasure. Popping a sapphire into her mouth to suck on, she sighs and closes her eyes.</p>
<p>"Damn humans. This is all their faults with their stupid resourcefulness. And they call US the monsters..."</p>
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<p>[Author Note]<br/>Here are a few pictures of some of the characters, lovingly drawn by KDD        https://twitter.com/KayDDew</p>
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<p>Clarimond<br/></p>
<p>Mina and Nima (or is that Nima and Mina....?~)<br/></p>
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